Chart your Path when Forced to Adapt
I almost called this post “Who moved my cheese?” That’s the name of a book that my coworkers and I were each given one day at our software company back in the days of Y2K. It was a story about change from the perspectives of mice and humans who one day discovered that their cheese was gone. And as such, they were forced to adapt. Seeing the book in the mailboxes was one way this company “prepared us” for the organizational changes we were experiencing. Maybe it was when our company got acquired. I don’t even remember. Time erases some of this as the years pass.
Nevertheless, sometimes things change on us at work and we have to deal with it if we have the privilege of still being employed. Otherwise we could get catapulted out into the great beyond where we need to figure things out, and chart our path.
Here are some phases you might go through if you’re going through a change that you don’t want and you’re forced to adapt — like losing your job; having to take on extra workload; when you’re told your product has been canceled; when you’ve been reteamed over to somewhere that you don’t want to be etcetera. The phases might be similar or different for you. These are what come to mind for me in service to you, who may be in the throes of change. I hope they serve as food for thought. They are: Find out, Freak out?, Check out, Figure it out, Story it out, and Niche it out.
Find out -
First you find out that a change is going to happen or that it has happened. The news of “the end” could come in various forms: a prerecorded video message, an impersonal zoom meeting, an email, a phone call. In the end if you like the change or it doesn’t impact you negatively, you just deal with it and accept it. You’re in the “new beginning” or “future state” already, or close to it. Now if you don’t like the change, everyone hears about it from you most likely. The closer the change is to you, the greater the chance of upset.
Freak out? -
Next, if you realize the change has negative impacts on you personally, you might act out. You might vent to people, lash out at people, argue with people…or maybe withdraw. There could be a whole spectrum of unskillful responses. As I have learned, as one who has publicly freaked out in my early career, this is the dangerous space where you could be perceived as dramatic, difficult, and also unprofessional. That’s not how you want to get branded.
Take the story of Brittany the sales agent. You might have seen the viral video of her getting laid off a few weeks ago. Some think Brittany’s response to getting laid off was a “career ender.” She secretly recorded her layoff meeting and then posted it on Tik Tok. Others laud her as brave and say they would love to hire her. They view her as tenacious. Others might think she’d be too challenging to manage — like a “problem employee”. In the end, people have different opinions..the comments with the video are illuminating. I personally felt that her inexperience and resentment showed through in the video; however I have empathy for her and want her to have another chance. People make mistakes.
When I’ve been excused out of companies in my career, at one point I decided that I didn’t want to be difficult and that I’d rather be perceived as leaving gracefully. I’d save my freak out for the delight of friends and family. A book on my bookshelf that I haven’t yet read suggests and is titled, “Save your Drama for your Mama”. I like that suggestion. After all, we get to choose, craft and own how we respond to situations in life and with whom, and whether in public or in private. Although we sometimes feel powerless, in the end we are in charge of ourselves. We hold that power. So what are you going to do in the throes of shocking and unpleasant change? How do you want to behave and be perceived as you are forced to adapt?
Check out-
At this phase, you have gotten out your emotion in the ways that you were able to - ideally with some grace. Now some time has passed. You might go in and out of the feeling space of the change. You accept that today is different than yesterday. You might get your mind off things. You take time off. You might travel if you can. Maybe you sleep in. You don’t do work related things. You focus on other parts of life. If you have privilege, money, and less responsibility, you can hang out here in this phase for a while. If you do not, this could be a guilt-ridden, fleeting time, a luxury you do not have. It could make you feel anxious to luxuriate here. Like you’re not trying hard enough or that time is ticking.
This isn’t all linear. You might spiral back into freak out — especially if your money is dwindling. You could second guess your behavior and response to the change, especially if it was a public, emotional response. Rumination might occur.
Figure it out-
This is when you realize that your life is bigger than what is happening to you due to the change. Perspective is starting to appear. You are figuring things out. You realize that you are the main character in the story of your life and that you have agency. Motivation shows up. So does determination. Whatever job changes, layoffs, reorgs, or “cheese removal” that just happened doesn’t define you. It could be a wake up call or a reality check. What you thought was “most important” might not be. You can do this. You will do this. You are unlocking the next level in your game of life.
Story it out-
You realize that it’s time to craft your narrative. You’re naturally talking with more people and they want to know how you’re doing. So what is the story that you tell them? Are you a victim? Or are you the lead character charting your path forward? Who do you want to be in the midst of this transition? And when people think of you, what are the keywords that you want to have “show up in their search results”? Is it angry, bitter person? Is it bridge burner? Is it dramatic, hard to work with person? Probably not.
Niche it out -
This is the time to find and claim your niche, if you don’t have one already. What do you want to be associated with you as a person? I had a great boss once (Chris Coughlan) who was obsessed with applying ideas of hospitality to doing business. I apply the keywords of hospitality and relationship building excellence to Chris when I think of him. People apply Dynamic Reteaming to me when they think of me. These concepts that relate to us become foundational to our personal brands. They differentiate us. So you need to figure out what your niche is, if it’s not obvious, and what you want to be known for. Otherwise you won’t stand out in today’s competitive landscape.
In the course of our lives sometimes we get tested. We find ourselves deep in the throes of despair and uncertainty. When we’re in it, we need to notice our triggers and our positive energy and realize that we get to choose how we show up and respond to the situation. After a while we get out of the chaos of change. We figure it out. And then, one day, we realize that the sun is shining on us. We take a look back and we realize that we are at the top of the hill looking back. We survived. We got through it. Today it’s not as hard as it was before. We have figured it out. We are owning our story and we are charting our path. So who do you want to be now and in the throes of unexpected change and transition? You get to decide.
Thanks for reading! I hope you found this post thought provoking. Here’s a reminder of how I can help you and your teams:
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Some references from this post: Who Moved My Cheese? Is a book by Dr. Spencer Johnson, 1998. To see the viral Tik Tok I mentioned, google Brittany layoff and it should come up. The book, Save Your Drama for Your Mama is by Charlie Sheppard. The photo along with this post is one that I took somewhere in Southern California.
Thanks again for reading, and have a great week!